Thursday, December 29, 2011

New Year’s Reso-YOU-tions!

Resolution time is here again.  I was planning on making my usual pledges and keep it status quo.  You know, the basic New Year goals - taking over the world and establishing a new world order, ending world hunger, be the lead singer in a rock band, paving the rainforest to build Jay-Land Amusement Park, or opening and operating a successful bed and breakfast in downtown Iran or Syria.    
"It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets." ~William Thomas
OK, maybe some of those ideas are a little far ambitious for a single year goal.  Perhaps instead I should join the masses in declaring that 2012 will be the year that I finally stick to a workout plan that promotes weight loss and gets me beach body ready.  I could even give up McDonalds and pizza!  Maybe that’s it, 2012 will be the year that I finally decide to get up early each morning to workout and follow those workouts with sprouts, wheat germ and everything else healthy.  While I’m at it, I could also get my house organized, save more money, volunteer my time to help others less fortunate, reduce the stress in my life, and do all of this while spending more quality time with my family.   Perfect plan!
New Year’s Day... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paying hell with them as usual.” ~Mark Twain
OR not, I’m not into the whole morning thing and McNuggets dipped in Hot Mustard sauce are way too delicious for me to ever give up on a permanent basis.  In fact, I’m not going to make a resolution to do any of those things. Why would I make such resolutions anyway? I’m pretty stoked with myself and what I’m doing.  So instead of worrying about what I should do to improve myself, I’m going to do everyone else a favor and make some reso-YOU-tions.
“New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” ~James Agate
What is a reso-YOU-tion you ask?  A reso-YOU-tion is act of informing others as to what their resolution should be.  All the time I encounter people with glaring flaws and most of the time I try to ignore them.  Not this year!  Now when talking to someone with stank breath, instead of trying not to hold my breath, I’m going to suggest they make a resolution to brush and floss or regularly.  And so on...  I’m sure the general public will inspire some great reso-YOU-tions!
"Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits." ~Anonymous
Like the idea?  Great! But if you start giving out reso-YOU-tions of your own I have a little advice for you. Give them to strangers. (Probably best to give to strangers that you can out run or beat up... just saying.) Avoid friends and family.  I started this new phenomenon the other day by providing a reso-YOU-tion for my wife.  This backfired!  She was VERY quick to offer some resolutions right back to me.
"Good Resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where that have no account.” ~Oscar Wilde
This year help out the greater good and hand out some reso-YOU-tions of your own! Happy New Year everyone!    

Friday, December 23, 2011

New Foodie

Baby girl is now officially a foodie.  At her last doctor’s appointment we got the go ahead from her pediatrician to begin her on solids when we thought she was ready.  She must have understood the doc because from that moment on she began to get stronger and stronger.  When the girl began to eye down anything and everything anyone was eating we decided we should start feeding her soon before she began a plot to feed herself.  
"He was a bold man that first eat an oyster." ~Jonathan Swift
So for the past week or so she has been eating her big girl food.  Well... maybe not big girl food but a bowl of mush definitely counts for something.  Rice mush with some sort of vegetable puree all mixed together.  She loves it!  So far she hasn't found anything she doesn't like. .  
"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public.  It's too controversial." ~Erma Bombeck
Currently she doesn’t have much say as to what or how she eats.  We strap her into a chair and give her what we want to give her.  But over the next few years she’ll begin to develop her own eating habits.  Sure, I hope she develops healthy eating habits and enjoys nutritious foods but those aren't the habits I’m too concerned about right now.  Instead of wondering what kind of weird quirky habits she’ll develop.  
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting." ~Andy Rooney
Will she...  
  • demand that her food not touch other types of food?
  • eat everything with only a fork?
  • eat her plate in order of least favorite to favorite or will she start out with her favorite item first?
  • become a vegetarian?
  • will she develop trichophagia and compulsively eat hair?    
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." ~Oscar Wilde
Everyone eats and everyone has some sort of habit attached to their eating.  I did a Google search for odd eating habits and found a few weird celebrity examples:
  • Steve Jobs once tried a fruit and veggie only diet in hopes that it would allow him to stop bathing.
  • Ronald Reagan didn’t eat a tomato for 70 years.
  • Michael Jackson used to have granola, almond milk, fruit juice and a tank of oxygen for breakfast each morning.
  • Claudia Schiffer eats nothing but fruit before noon.
  • Elvis once flew 800 miles to eat his favorite sandwich.
"I won't eat anything green." ~Kurt Cobain
The holidays are a great time for eating. Enjoy your sugar cookies, honey baked ham, tiramisu, fondu, and all of your other family favorite recipes.
"My idea of fast food is a mallard." ~Ted Nugent
Enjoy... Happy Eating!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Ho Ho Ho...

With Thanksgiving in the rear view and Christmas approaching quickly, I am slowly getting into the holiday spirit.  Growing up I didn’t celebrate Christmas so I don’t automatically go into fa-la-la mode just because tis’ the season.  
"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa." ~Bart Simpson 

Don’t get me wrong, I like Christmas and over the past week I’ve given it my best shot to begin getting festive.  Last weekend, I went to a gingerbread cookie baking event at the boy’s preschool, I put up our tree and took the family to a local drive through light show.  I'll admit it, I've even sang a carol or two in the car while drive around the town. (Some of those songs are really catchy!)
"Christmas is awesome. First of all you get to spend time with people you love. Secondly, you can get drunk and no one can say anything. Third, you give presents. What's better than giving presents? And fourth, getting presents. So, four things. Not bad for one day. It's really the greatest day of all time." ~Michael Scott (The Office)

Having kids definitely adds something special to Christmas for me and makes me want to get more into the spirit.  Watching the boy get excited about the lights, music, etc are definitely memory's I'll remember forever.  (Luckily for me he’s still too young and hasn't begun asking for outrageous gifts ~ so far its still just about the fun!)  And watching baby girl have her first Christmas will be very special.  (We already got her picture with the big fella framed.) I'm sure on the big day she will be in a very cute holiday outfit with a bow, on her still mostly bald head, looking prettier than ever. With my great kids and wonderful wife how could I not get into the Christmas spirit?
"Okay, this is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back?" ~Kevin McCallister (Home Alone)

According to Santa, it appears that some of my behaviors and actions still have some room to improve.  To see the video I received from Santa (and make your own Santa video) click here:My Message from Santa.
"I hate Christmas.  The mall is full of nothing but women and children.  All you hear is, 'I want this,' 'Get me this,' 'I have to have this' ... and then there's the children.  Ans they're all by my store 'cause they stuck the mall Santa right outside ringing his stupid bell.  As if you need a bell to notice a 300-pound alcoholic in a red suit. 'Ho, ho, ho,' all day long.  So, nice as can be, I go outside, ask him to shut the hell up.  He takes a swing at me.  So I lay a hook into his fat belly and he goes down.  Beard comes off, all the kids start crying and I'm the bad guy." ~Al Bundy (Married with Children)

Since I’ll probably need to the till the last second to get myself on the “Nice” list.  I’m going to track Santa’s journey around the globe.  You should too!  Check it out here: NORA Santa Tracker
"You stink, you smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa." Buddy (Elf)

I'm pretty sure this year will be my best Christmas ever! 
I hope it will be yours too. Have a wonderful holiday season.. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, 
Rock on you Festivus people, Happy New Year, etc, etc, etc...

Friday, December 2, 2011

Movember - A Look Back

Well, I survived Movember and my face is now back to normal.  My month of facial hair beauty was quite a unique learning experience.  The most prevalent lesson learned was that the stache is a powerful tool and should only be worn by the most manly of men.  When you don a stache, you are no longer viewed as a mortal man - you are a Rock Star!  
"BE PHYSICALLY ACTIVE: If you are not already doing some form of exercise, start small and work up to a minimum of 30 minutes of moderate physical activities most days of the week."
Over the course of time, the world has had the pleasure of sharing space with some great moustaches:  Hulk Hogan, Ned Flanders, Tom Selleck, Charlie Chaplin, Einstein, Super Mario, Groucho Marx, and Burt Reynolds. But for unknown reasons, the stache is no longer a mainstream look.  Instead, the stache has more of a cult-like following along with the likes of the mullet and acid washed jeans.  When one decides to grow the stache, they can not do so with half intentions, or the greatness of the look will consume you.
"EAT A HEART HEALTHY DIET: Fill up with fruits and vegetables, whole grains; include lean meats, poultry, fish, beans, eggs, and nuts; and eat foods low in saturated fats, trans-fats, cholesterol, salt (sodium), and added sugars."
While growing the stache was fun, and it gave me something to talk about for the month, the main goal of Movember is to educate men about the health risks they face and to raise awareness of healthy actions they can take to prevent illness.  While I'm sure I could have done more to promote those issues, I talked to enough people to feel I did my part.  I think I may have even convinced a few people to participate next year!  
"MANAGE YOUR STRESS: Stress, particularly long-term stress, can be the factor in the onset or worsening of ill health.  Managing your stress is essential to your health & well being and should be practiced daily."
Men's health is important not only during Movember but everyday!  So men, don't forget to check your balls! 

Below is a pictorial journey of my stache...
 Day 8 

 Day 13 - at Tough Mudder

 Day 14

 Day 16

 Day 22 - Co-workers getting into the spirit!

 Day 26 - The stache at the beach.

 Day 27 - The stache tours the city with the boy.

 Day 30 - The end is near!

 It was one wild month!

Time to go...
Free at last!